I am 22 years old, born and brought up in Delhi. I have always been chubby cheeks. When young I was called various names and my second name had become “Moti”. I don’t know when I grew comfortable with that name and it became a part of my identity. I don’t mind when someone lovingly calls me with the name but as I grew up I realized more than a nick name it had become a tag. Even at a young age the discrimination had started and whenever I participated in any school event or a group activity I was told to stand at the back as fat kids are not pretty. I grew up with the notion that I was utmost cute but not pretty or beautiful. No matter how much I achieved in sports, co-curricular or studies , my fat always hid all my qualities.
Although the society always appreciated my achievements but after every achievement they din’t forget to remind me I was and I am FAT. They said oh you achieved a medal in throws , but you know if you would have been thin you could have been a runner, oh you achieved +90% score in your boards but you know you could have done better if you were fit as slimmer you are the more active your brains are ! Yeah right !!
I was so sick and tired of having everything in life but still not able to stand in the perfect world as I was just not slim . I got everything in life friends , family , love , success but everything partially. Since, I was not slim , I wasn’t enough. Soon I landed in depression as the closest to me were the farthest from me . No one realized that I was not happy even when I was smiling . I ate to curb my sadness as food was my comfort. The result? I grew more fat.
After a while, when i had had enough, I made a promise to myself to love myself no matter what. To make what society taught me was my weakness into my strength. I made myself stronger each day not just physically but mentally too. I faced the society with a smile and told them what I really think about their perception and i.e NOTHING. My mother supported me in this journey. She told me to participate in first ever plus size show in Lakme Fashion Week. That was the turning point in my life.
It was not just a show but an experience for me. I felt alive again. It helped me to boost my confidence and tell the world I am beyond my weight. I am a person with more caliber than most , who speak to just criticize others. I recently won the first ever plus size beauty pageant Ms Plus Size North India 2017. Things have changed massively after it . Since I have become a plus size model people and society has changed towards me .Now people appreciate my work.
I am the first ever Plus size model of North India and I say that proudly! Yes I am Curvy and I love myself just the way I am . Just like I would love myself if I am thin. I just want to say to all the beautiful girls out there, No matter what shape or size, Beauty comes in all types. Create a beautiful world for yourself first, that’s when people will recognize the beauty you are.
-Vernika Jain, Winner, Ms Plus Size North 2017